Passion

"Wherever you go...go with all your heart."
--Confucius

Like tears all over

I don't want to be "that girl"...
the moody girl with all of her childish insecurities
and transparent questions.

I don't want to shed any tears,
or be the one you have to shoulder burden to...
the one you have to carry
and tell over and over again, "it's going to be okay."

I want to be strong...
a fortress to devotion....
immune to apathy and attention...
who doesn't count minutes and hours
and hold expectations hostage to affection.

But that's not me.
you are already aware I'm not wired like that.

My belly burns with a raging intensity
that neither time nor distance can diminish...
and sparks little pieces of crazy in me.

You know if I did put those pieces of me away
and carry on as if nothing mattered...
I would never be the same, right?

You know that it's all of the crazy bits that make me
who I am...and where I am...and why I am...
every day.

Without that, surely I wouldn't be "that girl"...
but I wouldn't be the girl you love either.

Pushing Pause

Sometimes you need to feel it.
Roll your sleeves up
stick your hands in
and get way down deep with it
all the way up to the elbows of your clean new shirt.

Sometimes you need to stand across the street from it
holler and wave as it rolls by
smile stuck firmly in place
hiding the tears that fall behind the windows to your soul.

Sometimes you need to get behind it...
sneak up on it and blitz it before it blitzes you...
execution style.

And sometimes you just need to step back for a few minutes..
press pause..
and wait until the time comes when you feel strong enough
to resume play.